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HEART-SHAPED LOSS: PIPE DEFEAT BROS 6-3

AUSTIN, Texas (AP)- The Bros Hockey Club continued their losing streak last night, suffering a 6-3 defeat to Layin’ Pipe. This is the first regulation loss of the season for the Bros. This storied matchup always lives up to the hype. NBC Deportes featured the game last night as part of their “Beer League Rivalries” series. Fans on the west coast were disappointed that the last three minutes of the game were lost due to the airing of a beer league croquet match.

This game was a thriller, with tight goaltending and defense by Bros and Pipe alike. Steven “Radio Friendly Unit Shifter” Sullivan played phenomenally for the Bros, stopping three penalty shots, countless wraparound and centering attempts, and a number of rebound attacks to give up a season-low five goals. Critter Kendall had the empty net goal with just over 30 seconds remaining.

Pipe’s defense led by Ryan Macia did a great job stifling the Bros offense and playing to goalie Jimmy Allen’s strong glovehand. The Boys in Black had two goals from Ross “Scentless Apprentice” Tagtow and one goal from Captain Andrew “All Apologies” Feigenbaum. The Captain was awarded the coveted Gonzales flag for his red line top shelf snipe and for countless blocks from Pipe’s forecheck assault. On a more serious note, in a freak accident, Feigenbaum attempted to flip a puck off the glass to clear the zone, but unfortunately the puck found the upper lip of Rye “Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through The Strip” Wilson, who required stitches, but never missed a shift. Shortly after the game, Feigenbaum was seen with Wilson in the parking lot, and the two friends were seen hugging it out like Ari Gould and Vincent Chase in every episode of ‘Entourage.’ Ever the consummate beer leaguer, Wilson graciously accepted apologies.

Although the Bros lost, there was marked improvements from the previous two shoot-out losses. Defensemen Roy “Francis Farmer Will have Her Revenge on Seattle” St. John and Matty “Pennyroyal Tea” Young had good vision and puck possession awareness last night, making consistent tape-to-tape passes on the forecheck. Marc “Milk It” Henderson effortlessly slipped blue jersey tails and found himself on several one-on-one opportunities. It’s only a matter of time before his stick catches fire again. Overall, the Bros played an exceptional game defensively, allowing Pipe only one two-on-one fast break.

The Boys in Black have been a little cool the past three weeks offensively, and they need to shoot more. Steph “Marigold” Meyer had a few good opportunities, but did make consistently good lateral passes with his “backup backup” stick. Fabian “Very Ape” Figi continued his display of hustle and defensive prowess with excellent backchecking through the neutral zone with Danny “Heart-Shaped Box” Pranno, who also put the squeeze on Pipe up the boards. Mic “Serve the Servants” Bush and Scott “Jam” Van Pelt are still riding cool sticks, but both had a few good looks on Allen. Both made good passes and set themselves up for good looks on the net. Expect them to heat up over the next few games.

Next week, the Bros play the struggling Wolves. In their last match up, the Bros barely hung on for a 10-8 victory. Puck drop is set for 7:45pm on Monday, April 25th.

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