AND THERE’S NO ONE ELSE I KNOW WHO CAN TAKE YOUR PLACE: BROS OUTLAST ROCKETS

AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters)- After two weeks of transmogrified performances, the Bros Hockey Clubpulled out a vintage look from the archives last night at The Pond Hockey Club against the Red Rockets. The Boys in Black gutted and grinded their way to a 4-3 victory on the backs of Ross “Waves” Tagtow and broalie Steven “Ultralight Beam” Sullivan. Tagtow led the team with a second period hat trick, and Sullivan looked to be back to true form with an unbelievable defensive game. For his efforts, Sullivan carried home the coveted Gonzales Flag. Fans witnessed an intense first period that saw Rockets’ goalie Brandon Fawkes and Sullivan deny countless shots. Both teams set a quick pace early on, and the passing was outstanding all night.

Steph “Father Stretch My Hands” Meyer and Fabian “Famous” Figi quarterbacked the Bros up and down the ice last night, anchoring the offense and shoring the defense. The two were integral to the victory and both provided excellent backchecking and neutral zone protection. Although Meyer could not convert either penalty shot, it’s only a matter of time before he finds his groove again. In a curious move that was heavily pondered, defenseman Marc “No More Parties in LA” Henderson was moved up to play wing alongside Tagtow. The Penn and Teller magic show, now known as The Hends and Tags Show was on display all night, with Henderson’s apparition finding open ice for quality shots, or completing unbelievable tape-to-tape saucers to teammates on the rush. His outstanding two-way game was critical to the Bros’ success last night. With less than a minute remaining in a tied game, Figi carried the Bros on his back, scoring the game winning goal with a short-side, top-shelf, far corner wrister.

Not to be outdone, the Bros’ secret weapon, Danno “Wolves” Pranno stifled the Rockets in the neutral zone and triturated nearly every Rocket opportunity along the boards. His top play from last night was an unbelievable sauce pass through traffic that caught a tailwind over two Rocket defenders’ sticks to the tape of Tagtow’s blade. Tagtow then buried the one timer into oblivion. Scott “Highlights” Poniewaz looked solid last night, and appears to now be up with the pace of play. Poniewaz played well positionally, but he excelled at the neutral zone backcheck and absorbing rebounds for shots. There were several opportunities where he had great opportunities, but was unable to convert. It’s only a matter of time before the Blond Bomber puts some points on the board.

The Star and Cannon’s defense was absolutely stifling all night. Sullivan’s first half shutout was a total team effort. With critical assistance from the wings, Figi, and Meyer, Roy “Highlights” St. John, Eddie “I Love Kanye” Valls, and captain Andrew “Real Friends” Feigenbaum were able to stave off the Rockets’ persistence that gave way to desperation as the game reached the closing minutes and seconds. St. John is having a career season. While some attribute it to experience, the typically reserved St. John is quick to state that there is no replacement for a proper-fitting skate. Valls did an unbelievable job last night with preventing odd-man rushes, and also did a great job of getting the puck out of the zone and putting the Boys in Black onto the fore check. Valls prowess and vision allowed for several great offensive opportunities. Feigenbaum finally seems to have settled into his groove, as his passing is back on pointe, and his situational awareness and positioning helped Sullivan shut down the Rockets.

Sullivan was simply lights out all night. After the game, Kelly Nash talked to the player of the game about how he bounced back from the two previous outings. Sullivan responded, “Ah, Kelly, I’m just really excited that we won. I mean, each week is a fresh start, and I sort of lost my chill and got frustrated those first couple games, but life is good. But, for real, Kelly, you know, every game is a fresh start. Manny Fresh. So Fresh. So Clean. Just focusing on each game, you know? Our defense was on fire tonight and Fawkes was fire tonight, too, but you know, we just needed a win and we went out there and got it.”

The Bros have two weeks to nurse their injuries and prepare for a 7:45 pm game against the Griffins on Monday, July 11th.

BY THE NUMBERS:
6 in 2- number of goals in number of games by Tagtow.

GAME NOTES:
Scott Van Pelt did not play due to a bad case of leprosy. Pulled his hamstring; pulled it right off.

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