AUSTIN, Texas (AP)- The Pond Hockey Club. Last night the Bros HC and Golden Thrashers (formerly Master Skaters) faced off in a game that would result in one of the two teams remaining undefeated. The Thrashers quickly started peppering shots on goalie Chris “Highway to Bro” Luscombe, but his signature steadfast demeanor on the ice prevailed. Despite being significantly out shot, the Bros managed to strike first when Kyle “Bros Got Rhythm” McIntosh managed to put his own rebound past Thrashers’ goalie and Bros’ arch-nemesis Brandon Fawks. In typical beer league hockey fashion, the lead proved to be short-lived, as the Thrashers managed to tie the game before the end of the first period.
The Bros flashed moments of brilliance in the second, but the team struggled for much of the period. Despite the efforts of Michael “Bro All Over You” Qualls on the backcheck, Anuj Kumar managed to score on a well placed pass to put the Thrashers ahead 2-1. The score would remain as such until deep into the third period when the Bros found another gear.
After entering the third period down by a goal, the veteran leadership of Noah “Bro Too Much” Leggett and Fabian “Beating Around the Bro” Figi lifted the team. Coupled with powerful defensive showings from captain Andrew “Bro Down in Flames” Feigenbaum and Kerry “Get It Bro” McAlister, the team clawed their way back to tie the game. Leggett found McIntosh twice with less than five minutes remaining in the game to put the Bros ahead for good. Figi twisted the dagger with a top shelf wrist shot with three minutes remaining to put the game away for good. The Thrashers took a page from United Airlines’ playbook and somehow managed to completely implode so badly that even Pepsi began considering revoking their Thrashers’ sponsorship.
The 4-2 victory was a result of the perspicacious play of Scott “If You Want Bro (You’ve Got It)” Van Pelt, Chris “Love Hungry Bro” Beard, and Ross “Night Prowler Bro” Tagtow throughout the entirety of the game. Their sound positional discipline and ability to create room with the puck proved to be the difference in tonight’s matchup. Nick “Bro in Black” Leggett‘s relentless backchecking in the neutral zone, along with the hustle of Travis “You Shook Me All Night Bro” Considine and Bert “B.R.O.” Bischof elevated the Bros to victory.
For his first hat trick with the Bros, Kyle McIntosh was awarded the team’s revered Gonzales Flag, and Noah Leggett garnered the team’s second star of the game and Gadsden Flag. The team looks to set a franchise-best 3-0 start next week at 6:45pm against the revamped and remodeled Learn 2 Skate squad.
Drew “Thunderbro” John was a healthy scratch because he was spending the evening at a small, boutique Italian vista dipping cannoli in his espresso, completely befuddled as to how joyous a simple pleasure such as that can be.
BY THE NUMBERS
11- goals in two games for the Bros
3- goals scored by the Bros in three minutes in the third period
2- straight wins for the Bros
1- Hat trick for McIntosh as a Bro