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TRAVEL THROUGH THE LIGHT: SNIPEZ SHOOT BLANKS IN 5-0 LOSS TO BROS

AUSTIN, Texas (AP)- The Pond Hockey Club. Last night at the Barn, the white hot Bros HC took on a struggling Snipez squad in what once was the premier matchup. The Snipez, with only seven goals through four games looked to upset the undefeated, offensive juggernaut Bros.

The Bros stepped on to the ice donning their black sweaters with the white shoulders, white star and cannon, gold Gadsden snake on the sleeve, and black and gold stinger legwarmers- at least MOST did. Bert “Rabbot Bro” Bischof wore a plain black jersey because he put his Bros jersey up for auction on eBay, despite his account that he simply “left it at home.” More on Bischof later.

On the opening faceoff, Noah “Captain Stupidbro” Leggett won the puck battle to captain Andrew “Bruh Bruh” Feigenbaum. After buying some time, Kyle “Bro In These Streets” McIntosh found some space in the neutral zone and Feigenbaum sauced the puck up to him. McIntosh got a shot on goalie Tom Ligh, but Nick “A Bro’s Mail (Tron Song Suite II)” Leggett was perfectly positioned to collect the rebounded puck and score his first goal of the night to set the tone 14 seconds into the game. Less than three minutes later, Nick struck again to give the Bros a 2-0 lead.

Power plays again played a big factor on the night, and this time the Bros were on the receiving end of a 5-on-3 power play. The Bros unit played strong, and exceptional work by defenseman Chris “Lava Lamp Bro” Beard and Scott “Jethbro” Van Pelt set up Bischof’s first goal of the season. Bischof’s net presence and pesky stickwork enabled him to capitalize on the odd-man advantage. After the buzzer sounded to end the first period, the Bros were dialed in with a 3-0 lead.

The second period was more of the same. Despite the Bros being on the penalty kill for six minutes, brilliant play by Kerry “Day & Night Bro” McAlister and goalie Chris “Show You the Bro Way” Luscombe denied the Snipez any chance at closing the gap. The Snipez simply could not get a handle on the puck, and were simply overwhelmed by the storming Bros. Noah Leggett sent a great lateral pass late in the second to Van Pelt, who buried the puck past a screened Ligh. At the close of two, the Bros held a 4-0 lead.

The Snipez continued to struggle in the third. Some great chemistry between Ross “Walk On By Bro” Tagtow and Drew “Tokyobro” John developed mid way through the period. Tagtow deked and dangled his way from the blue line to find net-crashing John, but Ligh stood on his head to make the save. Another late Bro surge on a power play generated multiple scoring opportunities between Van Pelt and Feigenbaum, but the duo was unable to convert on the deflection shot opportunities. Fabian “Bro Zone” Figi scored the team’s fifth and final goal of the game with a fantastic wraparound fake to continue his goal scoring streak to some impressive number that no one keeps track of in the beer leagues. Luscombe picked up his first shutout of the season, his third with the Bros, and the Blacksweaters won 5-0 to improve to 5-0 on the season.

For his two goals and elevated level of play, Nick Leggett was awarded the team’s coveted Gonzales Flag and first star. The second star went to the penalty kill unit for holding the Snipez scoreless for 12 minutes worth of penalty kill play.

The Bros look to win their sixth straight game next Wednesday at 8:10pm against the Golden Thrashers.

GAME NOTES

Michael “Bro’s Space Ride” Qualls was a healthy scratch because he spent the evening riding the CapMetro Rapid buses since they now feature great rates and improved routes.

Travis “Infernbro” Consadine was a healthy scratch because he wanted to spend the evening building a series of small rock installations on the Greenbelt, calling it art and challenging those around him to question the existence of harmony and balance in nature.

BY THE NUMBERS

5- Straight victories for the Bros, a franchise record.

12- Shots faced by Luscombe.

0- Goals allowed by Luscombe.

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