AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters)- The Pond Hockey Club. On Wednesday night, the marquee matchup between the two hottest teams in B1 took place. The game featured the first place Bros HC against the second place Barn Burners in what may have been another preview of the beer league finals. The two powerhouses met in the opening game of the season, and the Burners were looking for revenge last night after losing to the Bros 7-4 in that initial battle. Donned in their gold Gadsden sweaters and stinger socks, the “Diet Bros” squad of 10 skaters faced a formidable 12-man Burners roster.
The game quickly settled in to a tough, physical battle. The Burners controlled the puck much of the first period. Their miniatory attacks were constantly thwarted by exceptional defensive play from the Bros defensive core consisting of Chris “Blood Bro” Beard, Ross “Bro DNA” Tagtow, captain Andrew “Yah Bro” Feigenbaum, and Kerry “Bro Element” McAlister and superb goaltending from Chris “Blood Bro” Luscombe. The defensive core forced the Burners off the puck and with combined efforts from the forwards, the Burners were unable to generate very many quality shot attempts on Luscombe.
For the third time in as many weeks, penalties were another big storyline for both teams. Both teams were required to send multiple players to the AUSTIN BEERWORKS SIN BIN. An unnecessary kerfuffle between Canadian beer leaguer Ryan Reynolds (not to be confused with the world famous Canadian actor) and Bro Travis “Feel Bro” Considine resulted in a 10-minute major penalty for Considine. The scrappy Travis took his glove off and “communicated” with the enemy. NHL Network correspondent Jeremy Roenick spoke with Considine about the incident after the game. ” Well, I went into a 4G inverted dive at about two meters, well, more like one-and-a-half meters to do some, uh, you know, keep up foreign relations.” With Considine in the box for 12 minutes, the Bros were forced to move Tagtow up to wing and rotate three defensemen well into the third period. Strong neutral zone play and precise passing from Mike “Humble Bro” Qualls and the ever-pesky Bert “Love Feat. Bro” Bischof helped keep the team above water in possession time. Fabian “XXX Feat. U2Bro” Figi had 10 shots on the night, but the Burners goalie Marc Allen stood on his head to keep his team in the hunt for victory.
The hustle and grit of the dynamic brotherly Bro duo of Noah “Loyalty Feat. Bro” Leggett and Nick “Bro Pride” Leggett once again paid off in huge dividends. After a “No Goal” called by the officiating crew against the Burners due to too many men on the ice, McAlister miraculously pulled the puck from the crease after a Luscombe blocker pad save. Noah fed the puck to Nick, who went coast-to-coast and followed through on his own rebound to put the Bros on the board first with less than five minutes remaining in regulation. The Burners star player, Rye Wilson, followed suit less than 90 seconds later to tie the game at one. Beard and Figi were called for penalties within the last minute of play, forcing the Bros to stave off a 5-on-3 feeding frenzy to push the game into a shootout. Because of the timing of the penalties, both Beard and Figi, two of the Bros best-skilled shootout performers, were forced to watch from the penalty box.
The Bros elected to shoot second, and Parker Stewart opened up the scoring for the Burners going five-hole on Luscombe. Noah channeled Patrick Kane and simply undressed Allen to even the shootout score at 2-2. Nick and Ross were unable to score on their attempts, but the Burners found twine to take a 3-2 lead into the fourth round, putting the Bros in a score-or-die situation. Feigenbaum scored on a beautiful forehand-backhand-forehand headfake to tie the game at 3. Allen and Luscombe traded stops for the next eight rounds, until Tagtow buried a forehand shot into the net to win the game. For his game winning goal, Tagtow was awarded the team’s coveted first star and oddly still absent (NICK!) Gonzales Flag. Luscombe, who played unbelievably well, took home the team’s Gadsden Flag and second star.
The Bros remain in first place.
- Scott “Fear Bro” Van Pelt was a healthy scratch because he went on the Phil Kessel re-tox hotdog diet in Chicago. He may be unhealthy next week, but he certainly won’t be a scratch.
- Kyle “Bro God” McIntosh was a healthy scratch because the corporate world does not always understand that puck is life.
- Drew “Duckworth Bro” John was a healthy scratch because he was using his helicopter as a meat grinder to prepare sausages for his Memorial Day cookout.
BY THE NUMBERS
- 13- largest number of shootout rounds in Barn B1 history;
- 14- number of points the Bros have accrued to date on this season;
- 91- Luscombe’s save percentage again;
- 12- number of penalty minutes given for taking…
- …1- glove off to give someone the middle finger.
BRO QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“You miss 100% of the Jager shots you don’t take.”
RIP Chris Cornell.
Happy Birthday to original Bro and purveyor of all things golden, Taylor Wallace.