FREEDOM FROM CHOICE IS WHAT YOU GOT, BRO: TEAM GRINDS OUT WIN AGAINST MEC

AUSTIN- (AP) The Pond Hockey Club. A lot of new things are happening under the hood here to keep the Bros HC engine running clean, mean, and better than one of those nitrous-blowing, rubber burning, quarter-mile, drifting machines in any of the 4,328 Fast and Furious movies. In all seriousness, though, we’re doing some overhaul work and we appreciate your patience. We also apologize for excluding a write up two weeks ago, and for the delay on this past Wednesday’s game recap. It’s been quite a gut wrenching ride for America. Again. While politicians continue to hand out thoughts and prayers (try the thoughts and prayers video game!) for free like chips and salsa at your local Mexican food restaurant, we’re left here wondering if our cake-eating enemy on a certain Asian peninsula thinks America will just implode on its own. That’s reality. But we must move forward, they say.

The Bros faced a struggling Mean Eyed Cat (MEC) squad Wednesday night in what turned out to be an entertaining goaltender battle into a shootout. The Bros looked sharp early on as Fabian “Girl U Want Bro” Figi led the Bros on a maddening power play surge. With assistance from Layne “It’s Not Right Bro” BrougherTravis “Whip It Bro” Considine, and Nick “Snowbro” Leggett, the Bros bombarded the MEC during a 5 on 3. The power play was the result of yet another head contact hit to Considine and another confrontational and physical hit by the MEC. The league has footage of MEC captain Chris Gallagher’s deliberate elbow-to-bonce hit on Considine and the Players’ Safety Administration is reviewing the film to determine if a suspension is warranted.

The Bros did manage to capitalize on the odd-man advantage. Cam “Ton O’ Luv Bro” Cunningham found a feed from Chris “Gates of Bro Steel” Beard set up by his father Brian “Cold War Bro” Cunningham to give the Bros a 1-0 lead before the end of the first period. With the momentum shift, both teams settled in for the duration as the game turned into a defensive showdown between the white-hot Chris “Don’t You Bro” Luscombe and his defensive minions against the desperate Colin Klopfenstein, who tried to help MEC claw their way back into this back-alley battle. As Noah “That’s Pep! Bro” Leggett shouldered the puck carrying, Michelle  “Mrs. Bro’s Ballroom” Stock and captain Andrew “Planet Bro Earth” Feigenbaum blocked shots and cleared slots help Luscombe continue his commandment of the crease. The MEC did manage to score, but a crease violation negated the call; however, the Cats were able to convert shortly thereafter to tie the game at 1-1 with mere minutes remaining. Despite their best efforts, Jay “Are We Not Bros?” Wood and Ross “Through Being Cool Bro” were unable to add to their current point streaks as regulation expired.

In the shootout, Cam Cunningham led off for the Bros and scored. Luscombe blanked the MEC and the Bros extended their winning streak to three games.  For his two goals, including the game winner, Cunningham was awarded the team’s missing Gonzales Flag and first star. Luscombe again took home second star of the game. The Bros look ahead to this Wednesday’s match against Burt’s Reynolds.

GAME NOTES

Steve Czerniak was a late healthy scratch after getting lost searching for wifi in the new and beautiful central library in Austin.

BY THE NUMBERS

-92.6 SAA for Luscombe thusfar;

-3 game win streak for the Bros.

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